Active Listening Is the Greatest Compliment

Active listening is the greatest compliment you can give someone.
Your attention. Your focus. Your care.

“Listening is the greatest compliment.”
— Bob Proctor

I agree.

It’s hard to overstate how rare it feels to be truly listened to — and how immediately obvious it is when we’re not. We feel it in seconds. Someone glancing at a screen. Half a response forming before we’ve finished the sentence. The subtle shift of attention away.

At work, listening matters more than we admit. One-to-ones. Meetings. Interviews. Corridor conversations.

The people who listen — really listen — stand out quickly.

Communication isn’t just about transmitting information. It’s about receiving it.

And yet, very few of us were ever taught how to listen.

Learn how to develop presence, confidence, clarity and connection with the Communication Superpower Workbook.

Hearing is not listening

Most people hear just enough to reply.

Listening is different. It asks you to pause your inner commentary — the urge to interrupt, solve, impress, defend — and stay with what’s actually being said.

That’s harder than it sounds.

Many people say they’re “always available for a chat”, yet cancel the meeting, multitask through it, or steer the conversation back to themselves. Availability without attention isn’t listening. It’s theatre. It's a toxic form of personal branding and espousing empty platitudes.

Effective people listen — and then respond.

Turn and face

Watch how an adult listens to a child.

They turn their body.
They lower themselves.
They give full attention.

Now watch how adults listen to each other at work.

Eyes on screens. Hands on keyboards. Bodies half-turned away.

The simplest act of listening is physical: turn and face.

When someone speaks to you, stop what you’re doing. Turn your body. Meet their eyes. If you’re remote, put the camera where your attention is. Don’t type. Don’t skim. Don’t split yourself in two.

Presence is felt immediately.

Listening is active

Listening is not passive. It’s work.

It asks you to:

• stay with the other person’s meaning,
• notice emotion as well as content,
• resist planning your response while they’re still speaking.

Sometimes that means recognising you’re not in the right state to listen — tired, distracted, emotionally charged — and postponing the conversation. That, too, is a form of care.

Good listeners know their own limits. Great listeners notice other people’s emotional states and respond to them, not react.

Be interested

There will be conversations you don’t want to listen to.

Listen anyway.

Not because everything is fascinating — but because being listened to matters. Often people don’t need solutions. They need space. An ear. A sense that someone has heard them.

Interest can be a personal decision.

Tell yourself: there may be something here.
Often, there is.

Empty your cup

Interrupting is usually a sign of certainty.

“I know where this is going.”
“I’ve heard this before.”
“I can finish this sentence for you.”

And often, we’re wrong.

Let people finish. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s slow. The point they’re trying to make may not arrive until the final words.

Listening asks humility. It asks you to assume you might learn something.

As Bruce Lee said "Empty your cup so it can be filled", or something like that 😄

Don’t rush to defend

Some conversations are about you.

Feedback rarely arrives wrapped neatly. It can sting. It can be clumsy. It can feel unfair.

Listen anyway.

Defensiveness shuts learning down. Silence — used well — creates space. You can always respond later, once you’ve understood what’s actually being said.

Listening doesn’t mean agreement. It means openness.

Make sense of what you’ve heard

Good listening isn’t just absorbing words. It’s pattern-making.

When someone finishes speaking, pause. Then reflect back what you’ve understood — in your own words.

If they recognise themselves in your summary, you’ve listened.

If not, keep going.

That’s the test.

Listen critically, not compliantly

Listening doesn’t mean saying yes.

Some of the worst decisions in organisations happen because nobody questioned what they heard. Active listening includes critical thinking.

Ask:

• Is this always true?
• What problem are we actually trying to solve?
• What might we be missing?

Listening well sharpens judgement and prompts important high-quality questions to emerge. It doesn’t dull judgment.

Attention is the gift

To listen is to give someone time, energy and attention — three of the rarest resources we have.

People remember how you made them feel heard long after they forget what was discussed. And the more you listen, the more people will want to speak to you — which is both a gift and a responsibility.

Our job is to listen and respond. Not to fix everything. Not to absorb what belongs elsewhere. Sometimes listening also means helping someone find support beyond you.

But done well, listening changes rooms. It builds trust quietly. It lowers the temperature. It clarifies what matters.

Active listening is a superpower at work.

And it remains the greatest compliment you can give someone.

Bibliography

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening
• Communication – Nicki Stanton (affiliate link)
• Executive Presence – Harrison Monarth (affiliate link)