How Work Shapes Who We Become: Boundaries, Culture & Wellbeing

There’s a circular experience that happens in the workplace. We make work — we solve problems, ship value, sometimes create problems, sometimes create more work for others. But work also makes us.

Every interaction, every colleague’s behaviour, leadership modelling, culture, rules, processes, incentives, goals, feedback, and even announcements shapes who we are.

We grow in skills, awareness, and capability. Our behaviours morph in response to others and the environment. We are being influenced constantly, whether we acknowledge it or not.

If this is true, then leaders and managers — those shaping the system of work — have a responsibility. How can we ensure that work enriches the lives of everyone in the company? How do we create environments that shape people positively?

We need to pay attention to the influence work has on us. Are we becoming the people we want to be, or is work moulding us into someone else? Toxic aspects of a workplace can creep in unnoticed.

I often introduce “Mr. Freaking Furious” in my talks — a person who was moulded by a toxic environment, not inherently angry, but made that way by the workplace.

The good news is that change is possible. Just as someone can flourish when moved to a more supportive environment, we can consciously choose how work shapes us.

Boundaries, self-awareness, and reflection are essential. Ask yourself:

• Are you in a workplace that builds you up or breaks you down?
• Are your boundaries clear, and are you holding the line when needed?
• If work is nudging you in the wrong direction, what changes can you make?

Standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, and consciously choosing how to engage with your work culture are among the hardest — and most important — things you can do in your career. It’s not the corporate ladder, the next promotion, or the latest project that tests us most — it’s making sure work doesn’t make us into someone we’re not.

Leaders, managers, and teams: think about the culture you’re creating.

Are you building an environment where people thrive, feel respected, and are enriched by their work?

Work should enrich us. It should be joyful. We spend so much of our lives at work; it’s worth getting this right.

Keep an eye on who you’re becoming. Set boundaries. Reflect. And make sure work is shaping you into the person you want to be.

I cover this topic and more in my book Take a Day Off.